The Summer of Self-Love 🥰

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Welcome to the Unfolding podcast, a space where we explore what

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it looks like to really trust yourself,

say no without guilt, and live your

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life like it actually belongs to you.

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I am Erica Voell, a decision mentor

and inner trust guide, and I help

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women in midlife untangle from the life

patterns of shape-shifting and keeping

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everyone else happy, claim how they are

uniquely designed to make decisions,

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and understand their unique strengths.

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Using human design as a lens, we clear the

noise of conditioning so their no feels

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powerful and their yes feels true, and

they can move forward without self-doubt,

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guilt, or the pressure to prove anything.

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On this show, we have honest conversations

about self-trust, boundaries, energy,

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and identity, especially for women

in midlife who are done living by the

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shoulds and second-guessing themselves.

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If you have taken every personality

test, followed the recommended path, and

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still can't shake the feeling that you've

been spending your whole life trying to

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fit in when what you really wanted was

to belong, you are in the right place.

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You'll hear stories, insights,

and tools rooted in human

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design, coaching, and real life.

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Not to tell you what to do like

another self-help book, but to help you

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really hear yourself so you can stop

overthinking and start making decisions

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that feel grounded, clear, and true.

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A few weeks ago, I was watching a client

panel that was part of a master class

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that my mentor was hosting, and one

of the women shared how Human Design

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helped her learn to love herself.

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Everyone was getting teary-eyed as

she spoke, and me, I had big tears,

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and then I full-on started ugly

crying, and it lasted for a while.

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I had to gather myself to go

pick up my daughter from school.

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But while I was waiting in front of

the school to pick her up, I reached

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out to the woman who had shared, and I

said that I had a similar experience.

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I felt like for most of my life, that

there was something wrong with my body.

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There were always things

that needed to be fixed.

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There's a list I had thought for so

much of my life that was wrong with me.

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I wasn't tall enough.

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I wasn't thin enough.

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I was too sensitive.

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I was too moody.

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I was too emotional.

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I was too strong at times.

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I was too critical.

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I mean, goodness, the

list could go on for days.

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But learning my Human Design

was such a game changer, and I

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know I say that a lot, but Human

Design literally changed my life.

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It's, it's so true.

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I started to see myself not as someone

that needed to be fixed or needed

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to read another self-help book.

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I actually started to understand

that I was perfectly designed,

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even if they were seen as flaws.

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What others saw as a gap turned out

to be a gift, and my sensitivity has

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me so in tune with others around me.

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I can sense how things

are going in a group.

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I can't explain how it happens.

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I just…

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there's just something sensitive about me.

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My feelings of lack of self-worth

are a lesson for my entire life to

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learn that I have nothing to prove.

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And then the next morning

after this client panel, I was

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meditating, and I had this download.

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And if this has been the experience

of two women, I was wondering what

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is the experience of more women?

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So I started to reach out to a few people,

and I learned that while our experiences

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with human design are unique for each one

of us, we all experience it differently.

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The theme of learning to be less critical

and more accepting of ourselves seemed to

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carry through other women's experiences.

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All just because I s- put out a short

calling that said, " I'm writing

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about self-love and how we talk to

ourselves as women for a series.

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I'm going to be exploring it

through hu- the human design lens.

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If you have had a rocky relationship

with your body, loving yourself,

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or having a history of criticizing

yourself, I want to hear from you."

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Everyone I reached out to said yes,

and I had even more people respond.

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I know as women we've been raised

with a healthy dose of self-criticism.

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In the US, in the '80s and the

'90s, we grew up with Seventeen

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and Sassy magazines, which then

moved us into Vogue and Elle.

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There were models on the covers that

we hoped we would look like one day.

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SlimFast weight loss shakes.

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I mean, we all watched Oprah's

weight loss and weight gain

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journeys on The Oprah Show.

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There was a makeup and hair

product industry that's still

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around that was going to make us

beautiful with long, luxurious hair,

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even if we had super fine hair.

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Women's bodies and clothing were

the butt of jokes on TV, and that's

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all on top of any criticism we

received from friends or family.

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I was told to stand up straight

because I didn't want my stomach

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to pooch out and look fat.

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That's what I was told

when I was 10 years old.

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Or my grandmother saying, "Erica,

stop frowning," when I was just

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relaxing my face watching TV.

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There was a healthy dose of criticism of

other women's bodies in my family too,

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and it continues through to this day.

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That is a pattern I am

really focusing on breaking.

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I still hear, "Can you

believe what so-and-so wore?"

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And I know we were not alone in

this in the US with this constant

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bombardment of advertising and messaging.

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And is it any wonder that women

in their 40s and 50s and 60s have

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carried with them a strong case

of self-criticism, self-loathing,

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feelings of unworthiness, and feeling

like that their body was less than?

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I know for me as a 13-year-old, I

would always be disappointed when

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I would get a great outfit that I

either saw on a mannequin in the

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store or in a magazine because it

would look different on my short body.

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I'm not even five feet tall, so of

course it looked different compared

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to the models and the mannequins that

were, like, practically six feet tall.

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But there was a part of me that always

held out hope, and I don't think

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any of us are alone in that feeling.

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So this summer is inspired

by this one woman's share on

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the masterclass client panel.

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It's going to be the summer of

falling in love with ourselves again.

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I'm calling it the summer of self-love.

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I will be right along the journey with

you because I feel like we all need

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some reminders now and then, and I'm not

leaving behind the powerful experience

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of women trusting their own voices.

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This is just an evolution.

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Our inner voice is just as important

as our outer voice, and we know that

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when we feel good inside and confident,

that that also affects our outer voice.

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Some topics that are s- floating around

my head right now are the shoulds in

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self-love, shame and self-love, the

lessons of my life's work in human design

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and how more flow and less habit tracking

shifted my relationship with myself, our

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inner voice and our self-love, self-love

and where it shows up in the human

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design chart, and then learning to love

yourself, learning your human design.

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I can't wait to share this with you,

and I'm so excited to see how this

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project evolves through the summer.

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Nothing is really planned yet.

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I have a couple of questions I'm

sending out to people that are

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participating in the interviews.

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We're going to be exploring self-love

through human design, and I'll be

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interviewing women for the articles,

which are always podcast episodes,

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as well as doing Substack Lives.

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And at this time, I am also going

to be profiling each of the women

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who are interested in participating.

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There will also be a couple of

workshops that I'm going to be

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developing as we go along this summer.

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I have no idea what

they're gonna look like.

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I'm just putting that out there.

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But I feel like there's a workshop

in-- coming through, so stay tuned.

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And I'm so grateful for-- that

you're here, and I think it's

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going to be an amazing summer.

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So thank you for listening.

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And if this episode resonated

with you, I would be so grateful

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if you click the plus sign to

subscribe or share it with a friend.

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You can also find me on Substack, where

I publish articles, host workshops, and

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share more about human design and midlife.

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Thanks for joining me, be well,

and I will talk to you next time