Your Permission Slip

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Hello and welcome back to unfolding.

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I'm Erica Voell, a confidence

and wellbeing coach and a

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certified Human Design guide.

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And I use tools like human design,

coaching and Reiki to help women

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in midlife say no to what drains

them, because then they learn

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how to trust their decisions and

understand their unique strengths.

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And together we clear old patterns so

that they can make confident decisions

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and start putting themselves first.

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I say in every episode, your human

design is your permission to do

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things differently with confidence.

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And today, I wanna take

that idea one step further.

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What if your human design type or

any other part of your chart isn't a

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label at all, but a permission slip?

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The kind you used to take to school

from your parents that was signed and

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it said, "my kid is allowed to..."

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And that's what we're talking about

today, how understanding simple

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parts like type of your human design

chart, especially as a parent or

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a partner, can shift everything.

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And why I will never ask someone,

what do you do the same way again?

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This is a conversation I wish I could

have had with myself years ago, and I also

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know back then I was not ready to hear it.

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One of my favorite things when I hear

people after a workshop or a session is.

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"Oh my God, this is so good.

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I wonder what my partner

or my kid or my sister is?"

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and at workshops that often

run their partner kids charts

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right there and I hear, "oh my

gosh, that makes so much sense."

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And it's fascinating what we can learn

about a person from their birth date,

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their birth time, and the location.

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You learn how someone is designed to

make decisions and so many other things.

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And why that one kid was always

getting in trouble for doing things

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without asking permission only to

later learn that they're a manifester

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and they're here to be bold and

initiate and bring disruptive ideas.

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Or maybe they were labeled as

lazy, when really their energy

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flows differently throughout the

day because they're a projector

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and they're designed to rest more.

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They need that rest.

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I've worked with manifesting generators

who've told me that their parents

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were so frustrated with them when that

they couldn't stick with one thing

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and honestly, they're not supposed to.

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Manifesting generators are here

to pivot when something new lights

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them up, that's their design.

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And for generators when they're

doing something that they

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love, that time can disappear.

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They get that satisfying Full-bodied.

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Yes.

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And they go for it.

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And then there are the reflectors,

which were a lot of times labeled

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the two sensitive kids or the ones

who were "too much" when reality

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they were absorbing and reflecting

everything in their environment.

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And they're the ones who

can see what others can't.

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And they're the really our early

warning sign for unhealthy spaces.

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We grow up with so many labels,

the good student, the bad kid,

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the troublemaker, the bossy girl.

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The lazy kid.

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And then we trade them for new

labels as adults, lawyer, mom,

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project manager, the organizer.

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And we take them on not only as

labels, but many times we take

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them on as our identities that

we use to define ourselves.

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How often when you meet someone

new is the first thing that they

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say to you, "so what do you do?"

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As if that's the one thing that defines

who you are as a person, is that job

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or that label or that title you have.

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What if instead someone asked you?

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"What lights you up?"

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"What brings you joy?"

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Would you even know what to say?

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I don't know if I would, and I

think most people wouldn't, because

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somewhere along the way we learn to

focus on what we should do instead

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of what truly, truly calls us.

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One of the reasons I bring up

type so much is because that's

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usually where people start.

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They look up their chart online and

they see that they are a manifester,

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a generator, a manifesting generator,

a reflector, or a projector, and then

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there's a number in front of it, and.

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That's what they, they know, but

they don't know what it means.

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And it's what people

are most familiar with.

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'cause it's actually a

really easy place to start.

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But human design is so

much more than just type.

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And one of my favorite pieces

for myself is my profile.

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So my numbers in the front,

it looks like a fraction.

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I'm a five one, so it looks like

a fraction of a five slash one,

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which is also known as the problem

solver and investigator and I.

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Have grown to love it.

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It describes me so much.

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It describes my lived experience

and it also sort of sounds secret

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spy- like I have a cool badge that

I get to flash when I'm undercover.

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Like, hold on, I got this.

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I'm an expert at finding patterns.

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But here's the thing, it's a label.

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It's a fun one and also a helpful one.

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It tells me a lot about myself.

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But when we start to clinging

to these labels as our

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identities is when we get stuck.

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Or maybe you're in a life transition.

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Maybe you're switching careers like I am.

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You're becoming an empty nester, or

you're rethinking how you actually

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want to live the rest of your life.

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Those old labels stop working

or you just wanna drop them

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out of your life completely.

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And labels can be like lenses.

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They can help us see, but

they're not who we are.

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And when we give ourselves permission to

see these labels as tools instead of boxes

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to fit into, then things start to shift.

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It happens when you start noticing

glimmers of joy or little sparks

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of what might be next, but they're

these little fragile things at first.

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And when I work with parents,

it's also the same thing.

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We tend to hand out labels to our kids.

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It's what we've always known.

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I know I have, I have a precocious kid.

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I've said it a lot.

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But what if your human design

type or profile isn't a label?

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What if it's actually a permission slip?

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That permission slip to stop trying

to fit in and instead lean into

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what already feels so true to you?

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It may not have even felt true

to you since you were a kid,

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and if you're a generator.

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I'm giving you a permission slip to

seek out what truly lights you up

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and let yourself do more of that.

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And if you're a manifesting generator,

I'm giving you a permission slip

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to say, "I'm done with this.

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It doesn't excite me anymore."

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And to pivot towards something new.

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And if you're a manifester,

stop asking for permission.

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You don't need permission.

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You're not here to wait.

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You're here to inform and

take bold, amazing action.

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And if you're a projector, your permission

is to drop the unsolicited advice

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giver label because you are a guide.

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Let yourself be recognized and invited in.

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You're here to see what others miss and

reflect it back to them with wisdom.

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And for my reflectors, you are so

deeply in tune with our environment.

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I want you to give yourself

permission to step back from

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spaces that don't feel good.

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'cause your body knows, you know.

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And that's why I say every episode,

your design is your permission

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to do things differently with

confidence, because I truly mean it.

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I love to share how human

design can be practical.

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That's part of me being a 5/ 1 is bringing

in a system that's very complex and

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making it very practical to other people.

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Human design is a really complex

system and yet exploring different

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parts of it shows you how you bring

out the whole you, and to give

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yourself permission to do things

differently and to be the whole you.

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To start seeing things that

you may have always felt like

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were flaws in a new light.

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And to be able to recognize the light

in you so that you can bring these

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gifts into the world because they are

being uniquely expressed through you.

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And we need more people sharing their

light and the gifts with their world

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right now instead of falling in line

and fitting themselves into a box.

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Because let's be honest, falling in

line right now is not what is needed.

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We need everyone's full

lights in this dark time,

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especially in the United States.

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Living your full self, being fully

embodied as yourself, that is exactly what

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the powers in charge are most afraid of.

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It's what they want to tamp down.

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It's what they are trying to shut down.

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So I offer these insights into human

design as a way for you to see that these

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parts of your design are really your

permission to do things differently.

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And when I began to pay attention

to what lights me up as a generator.

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I started saying no to things that

didn't feel good, and I started

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setting clearer boundaries.

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And sure it didn't make everybody happy.

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It still doesn't make them happy,

but it makes me happy and I'm the

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one who has to live the rest of my

life with me, and I've really started

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to think a lot about this lately.

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When I'm at the end of my

life, what do I want to say?

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Do I want to say I lived a life

that made other people comfortable?

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Or do I want to say I lived a life

that felt so damn good, so aligned,

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so me that I would not change a thing.

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And yeah, we throw words around like

happiness a lot, but when you really

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feel into it, that deep sense of

alignment and fulfillment, joy and

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gratitude and contentment, that's the

kind of happiness I'm talking about.

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I know we won't get there overnight,

but one thing you can do is start

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with what I ask my clients to do.

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Make a list of 10 things

that light you up.

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Some of mine include naps, dancing

and music, journaling, meditation,

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time outside, reading a book

uninterrupted for hours without

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being sick, sitting in silence.

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So keep your list where you

can see it, and when you're

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having a rough day, look at it.

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Pick one thing, give

yourself that one thing.

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Even writing it down begins the

process, because writing activates

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your brain's reticular activating

system that helps you notice and

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then create more of what you want.

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Like have you ever wanted to

buy a car and you've thought, I

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want to buy this car, and then.

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Everywhere you see those cars,

they've always been there, but

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now your body and your brain are

noticing it, and it's the same thing.

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If you wanna bring more joy

into your life or whatever you

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want or desire, write it down.

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Activate that reticular activating

system, name it, embody it, live it.

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Be that person and be your future self.

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You can imagine putting those clothes on

every morning and then notice what shifts.

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So I've started doing this since

I decided to leave my current job

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and people are noticing, they're

asking me what is different about me.

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They've asked if I've gotten a

haircut and something is different.

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I'm embracing and I am embodying my future

self and it's shifting things for me.

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One of my teachers talks about

writing down your future memories

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will be how do you want to feel?

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And this is how you begin to

step into embodying your design.

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This is how you move from

labels into truly being.

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So next time you meet someone, I challenge

you, instead of asking, what do you do?

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Try asking them What's bringing

you joy lately or So, tell me

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about something that lights you up.

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It might be awkward, but you

never know what beautiful

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conversation might actually unfold.

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Thanks for spending time with me

today, and until next time, take care

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of your energy, take care of you,

and your joy, and remember, you're

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not too much, you're not behind,

and you're just beginning to unfold.

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Thanks for joining me.