Transformation is real

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Hi, welcome back to Unfolding.

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I am Erica Voell, a confidence and

wellbeing coach, and I use tools

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like human design coaching and Reiki

to help women in mid life say no to

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what drains them because then they

start to trust their decisions and

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understand their unique strengths.

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And together we clear old patterns so

that they can make confident decisions

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and start putting themselves first.

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I believe your human design is your

roadmap and your permission to do

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things differently and confidently.

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And if you've ever felt like you're doing

all the things and still wondering why it

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feels so hard, this episode is for you.

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I have had the honor of working with

women who have felt overwhelmed.

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Over responsible and like they are falling

short no matter how much they give.

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And today I wanna share a few of

their stories and how they went

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from feeling stuck in the shoulds

to clear, confident and aligned with

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how they're actually wired to thrive.

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Because this work, it

really changes things.

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I've seen women go from second

guessing in themselves to trusting

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their gut for their decisions.

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Also, those who have gone from this

decision fatigue and the finding

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that confidence and clarity and from

those who are holding everyone else

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up to finally honoring themselves.

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So let's talk about the stuckness.

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That frustration, that exhausting

sense, that you should be doing

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more, you should be further along

and that something isn't clicking.

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I know that feeling so well

'cause I've been there and in

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2022 I clinically burned out.

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I was doing all the things I thought

I needed to heal and I kept hitting

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the same walls and I kept asking.

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Why aren't things changing?

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'cause I've done all this

personal development work.

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I was meditating, I was doing all

the things I thought I should be

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doing to heal and I still wasn't.

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And my therapist suggested

I look up my human design.

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And honestly, I was really skeptical.

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I thought I was gonna be like this, eat

right for your blood type, which I had

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tried before and it didn't fit for me.

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But then I read my authority.

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Which is my decision making process.

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I read about the centers, which

are the shapes in the chart,

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and something seriously clicked.

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I had never felt so seen in my

entire life for the first time.

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I wasn't trying to fix myself.

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I felt like I was studying myself

and starting to understand myself

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because I had thought I was broken.

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I thought I'd had all these

problems and I didn't.

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I was just operating in a way

that was not in alignment for me.

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When I read that everything changed and

you can listen to that in episode three.

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I have a whole episode about

burnout and coming out of it.

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And when I started to dive deep into

studying human design, I'd studied for

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over a year before I thought like I could

share it with clients 'cause I hoped

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it would be something I could share.

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But I needed it to feel practical,

it needed to feel like me.

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It didn't just need to be something

that was interesting and esoteric.

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And as I started to work with

clients, I saw that it could be

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more than a tool for a reading.

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It could become.

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this core piece of how I work with women

to come back to themselves to really

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understand themselves . Human design

has made me a better mother, a better

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wife, and honestly a better human.

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My husband is a manifesting generator

and he zips around the house.

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He can do 10 things at once.

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While, I feel like I'm focused

on one thing at a time, and

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that used to drive me crazy.

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I felt like I was slow.

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I felt like I was not enough

'cause I couldn't get things

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done as fast as he does.

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But once I started to see that our energy

differences were through our design, that

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tension started to dissolve and I stopped

beating myself up for trying to live up to

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a standard that I thought he had for me.

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I didn't need to move like him.

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I just needed to listen to my

body and do things that light me

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up and do things in my own way.

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My daughter and I both have an emotional

authority, so we need time, we need space.

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We need sleep before we

commit to anything big.

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And learning that has saved us

money, it has saved us stress, and

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we literally have changed how I shop.

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When I buy clothes, sometimes

I buy them and I will leave

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them in the bag for a few days.

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My husband wants me to wash them, but I

feel like I need to let them sit there so

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that I can decide if I love them as much

as I did when I bought them, because then

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that emotion has settled and then I'm not,

it doesn't feel like that impulse buy.

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If I love them, I keep them.

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If not, they go back.

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These small shifts have

created so much peace.

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And for so many of the women I work

with, they feel like they have to be more

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than they already are, and some of 'em

feel like they are behind in their life.

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They feel stuck in indecision or

they only make decisions when they're

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so pressured that they're running

out of time because they don't

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know how to listen to their body.

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They're also tired of

apologizing for needing space.

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They feel like they need to stop

over explaining why they need time

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and just to be with themselves.

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They also want to understand

why they're stuck.

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They have done all the work,

they have done all the.

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Yoga, they have done the meditation,

but it's something just still doesn't

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feel right and they're looking to

feel a little bit more confident in

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themselves and they're looking for

another tool to help move them forward.

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And I really wanna say that it's

a tool, but this is studying you.

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And when you start to study you,

you understand yourself better.

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So let me tell you about Natalie.

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When we first connected,

she was carrying everything.

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She was running our household.

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She was supporting a family business.

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She was managing a side business, and

she believed that if she slowed down,

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then everything would fall apart.

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She was so awesome at starting things,

but she was struggling to finish them.

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She was constantly juggling

this excitement with her big

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ideas, with the mundane to-do

list that never seemed to end.

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But she was exhausted and she needed

permission to do it differently.

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Does that sound familiar?

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One of her dreams was to host community

meals on her land, and it was this

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beautiful vision, but she couldn't

see how she could make it a reality.

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And as we explored her

human design together.

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Things started to shift.

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She realized that saying yes from an

obligation was actually draining her.

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And she started to make decisions

from trusting her gut and herself

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instead of feeling that guilt.

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And she learned how to communicate

our ideas more clearly, especially

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with her husband, where she

had faced resistance before.

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And guess what conversations

that used to end in a firm no.

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Started to turning into a yes

or, and let's explore this.

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Over time, Natalie's confidence grew

and I still see it today, and she

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started to believe in things that were

possible and within a few months she

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was not only hosting those community

events on her farm, but she was

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actually getting catering job requests.

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She told me recently I'm doing

the thing I said I wanted to

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do and I have abundant energy.

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You can hear more from Natalie in our

interview in episode six, where she talks

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about our experience working together.

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So what about parenting?

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Not all of my clients are parents,

and parenting can get so much better

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when you start to understand your kid.

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I recently released a parenting

roadmap report with a private podcast.

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You can find that in the show notes.

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Do you get frustrated if

you're a parent when your kids

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change their minds again, like.

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You feel like they can't stick

with one thing or do you argue

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with them about quitting soccer

after you've spent $400 on gear?

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Maybe.

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Your kid's a manifesting generator and

they are meant to pivot when something

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no longer lights them up or they have

an emotional authority as my daughter

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and I do, and as a former client,

Heather shared with her that her

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son needs to sleep on his decisions.

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Now she talks to her son about the

decisions that he needs to make, and

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he's happy with his decisions, and

then the whole family feels better.

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Heather also shared that she also

felt completely unheard in her family.

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She's the quiet one in this loud

house because she's the one in the

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house with an undefined throat.

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She felt like no one

ever seemed to listen.

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She said, I feel like I have

to yell just to be heard, but

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I don't want to be that mom.

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But when she learned about that undefined

throat center, she finally understood why.

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Speaking up felt so hard and

how she can use that quiet as

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a strength, not a weakness.

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And now she speaks less, but

with a whole lot more impact.

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And she's parenting with

confidence and not frustration.

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Another client came to me with

this absolutely stellar resume.

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She's a former reporter for a

nationally renowned newspaper.

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She has non-profit leadership

where she made a huge difference,

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but she could not own any of it.

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She told me, I taught myself everything,

so how am I really qualified?

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Her imposter syndrome was so

loud, but when we started to

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dive into her manifestor energy.

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That she was meant to forge her own path.

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Everything started to click, and

that's the thing about this work.

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It doesn't just give you

insight, it gives you permission.

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So what actually changes for my clients?

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They stop spinning in this

decision fatigue, and they

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start to trust their decisions.

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They're not making decisions

out of a feeling of pressure.

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They understand how their body responds

to the decisions that they need to make.

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They start to parent with more

connection and a lot fewer power

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struggles, and then they reclaim

their energy by removing the shoulds.

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We talk a lot in my coaching

about getting stuck in the shoulds

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and don't should on yourself.

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They also start honoring where they

actually need time and space or whatever

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they are really feeling at the time.

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They show up differently at work and

at home and in their relationships

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because they understand themselves and

they understand others in a new way.

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I've had several clients tell

me that they want to know.

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What type their coworkers are, what

their partner is, what their kids are

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before we've even gotten off the first

session, because it is so validating

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to hear this about yourself, and

then you start to see this in others.

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And most of all, they stop

abandoning themselves.

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They stop checking out of their lives.

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'cause this isn't about doing

more, it's about really doing

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what works for you and your body.

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And when you do, you stop

trying to be someone else.

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You stop.

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Try to be a parent that

like everybody else, and you

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start to finally be yourself.

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Because

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it's really about integrating the things

that you are learning about yourself.

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'cause I mean, you could Google human

design and download a chart, but.

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Like learning it and really learning

how to live with it and live in it.

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That's where our work really happens.

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And so for so many of my

clients, this opens a door.

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It's about the first time they

feel truly seen, not just by

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someone else, but by themselves.

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They stop feeling like they're too much

or not enough, and they start seeing

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that they are normal for themselves, and

that normal is something very powerful.

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And they finally have someone in their

corner, a trusted guide, as they make

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these hard decisions for themselves,

their families, and their careers, and

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they also get really clear on their

gifts because when you're clear on

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your gifts, your path can accelerate.

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For me, I thought becoming a

full-time coach would take me five

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years, but then my business coach

asked me, what if it took three?

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I.

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That felt too wild and too crazy

for me, but it lit something in me.

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It didn't take five and it didn't take

three that I told myself maybe I could do.

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It actually took nine months.

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I don't know what happened.

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I just know that I really.

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Doubled down and trusted my gut.

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I trusted my authority.

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I trusted who I was and how I am built.

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And I learned so much

about my human design.

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'cause really there's a lot

of power in that clarity.

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And that's what happens when you

stop, second guessing yourself.

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You start trusting how you're built.

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'cause you can do a personality quiz.

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This is not Myers Briggs,

this is not the Enneagram.

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Th those are all about your mind

and how you are perceived by others

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and how you think you should be.

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Human design is really about

how you are born to operate.

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It's your energetic blueprint.

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It's your life's work.

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And once you see it, you really

can't unsee it and you don't want to.

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So if you're tired of questioning every

decision, if you're tired of parenting

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in a way that feels draining and unsure,

and if you're wondering if there's a

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easier way to actually be you in your

life, I want to assure you that there

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is, and I would love to show you.

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I want to invite you to book a

free coaching session with me.

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We will start to unlock these pieces of

you and see how you can unfold further.

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Okay, thank you for joining me.

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And if you enjoyed this episode, I

would love it if you would tap the

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plus sign or follow the show so that

you don't miss what's coming next.

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And if you're feeling generous, leave me

a quick review that helps more people find

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unfolding, and I would be so grateful.

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If there's someone in your life

who you know would love these

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conversations, please share it with them.

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Be well, and I'll talk to you next time.